i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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