We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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