Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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