Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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