so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
