i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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