Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can I color on your dick again?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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