he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize