So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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