My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
