Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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