i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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