DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
