you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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