He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
