My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize