If that was your dad, he is hot
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
