Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
