Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
