i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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