So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
