i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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