Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
honey bunches of taint.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
