I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I could fuck to npr.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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