And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
