Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
