He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
