Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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