i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
