Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
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