Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
