I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
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