My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
