i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
