God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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