What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
