note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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