It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
