There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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