He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
