Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
