Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
