Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
