the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
