you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
