I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
