I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
