he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
