"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
