You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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