I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
