how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
