I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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