Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
