this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
