We're facebook friends in real life
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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