SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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