Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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