The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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