the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
