hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
